Friends who Gossip
When friends gossip about you, it can hit you hard.
I’ve sat and listened as people gossiped about me and about each other.
I’ve seen my ‘friends’ asking me questions only to see if I’d tell the “truth” they thought they knew.
I’ve seen my ‘friends’ tell me secrets their friends confided to them (I strongly dislike this behaviour).
I’ve seen friends gossip about the weak areas/bad habits of their friends but refuse to confront them in love.
It’s None of My Business
For me, it is okay if you gossip about me. What is not okay, is gossiping about your friends to me. I do not find joy in knowing the personal affairs of others. I do not want to know who got an abortion, who bought clothes for whom, whose partner doesn’t really want them, who has demons, who is having relationship issues, and the list goes on. It’s none of my business. So, stop, please. I don’t want to hear.
Gossipers Don’t Require Proof
I’ve proven that if you make people believe what they see for a few minutes, they’ll never seek the truth or stop to question it, and quickly spread the “good news”. Show them a pink flag in the dark, and they’ll tell everyone that they saw you with a red flag.
Effects of Gossip
Gossip can cause a deep rift among friends, make lifelong enemies, result in hidden pain being exposed for public ridicule, and cause people to shut down in many ways.
I’ve seen the reflection of deep hurt in the eyes of others. I’ve felt shocked when I realised that my friends joined the gossip against me rather than standing up for me.
Yet, I don’t repeat the gossip I hear to those individuals who are the main topic of discussion because (1) I don’t find joy in causing pain to others, (2) I don’t think I should be the one to cause discord among friends, and (3) they’ll never believe the outsider anyway, forgive their friend, and start hating me.
What am I saying?
To the gossipers: You don’t know what the truth is, so don’t spread the little you think you know.
To those being gossiped about: don’t let it affect you too much, just be glad that you now know who isn’t on your side. I know it hurts, but learn to share only what you don’t mind the world hearing.