In my previous blog, titled “Did Ruth Actually ‘Wait’ for Boaz?” I had requested that the readers look at the book of Ruth, chapter 3. (Read it now, if you haven’t). Did you notice anything? My previous blog was looking at a trending topic in Christendom, ‘should women propose to men?’. The argument by many is that it is not biblical and has NEVER been recorded in the Bible. I beg to oppose.
Let me restate my point on the trending topic, “I believe we should leave people alone.”
We can be so stuck in the cultural period in which the Bible was written, that we don’t even realise that we’re living in a different culture. While I agree that cultures change but God doesn’t, culture largely determines how proposals are done and who proposes to whom. I doubt God cares about who actually proposes. Is it a sin for women to propose? Will it lead the man or the woman to sin? No, marriage is a God ordained relationship. The methods Godly persons use to get to that point, is their personal choice. It’s a matter of cultural practice. The current Western “culture of proposing” (where a man goes down on his knee) isn’t even necessary. But to each his own.
People fail to understand the Bible and pressure others to follow the culture that was prevalent in Bible days, claiming that it’s how God ordained it. In years long ago, and even in some parts of the world today, parents would agree that their children would marry each other. I imagine that, when the children back then started saying they wanted to decide who they would marry and began to change the culture of engagement, these parents objected. Maybe the parents even used the scriptures such as “children obey your parents”, and gave biblical evidence where Abraham found a wife, Rebekah, for his son. But I cannot imagine them approving the cultural change, at the time. Now look at how repulsed some of us, in the Western hemisphere, are at the very thought that our parents would choose a spouse for us! We say, “No, I want to marry someone I love so I should have a choice”. Yet, we are the same double-standard persons who object to women proposing to men they love.
My main point is, stick to your opinion but do not try to control others and make them feel less of a Christian just because they have a different point of view.
Most women want to wait on their “Boaz” to propose. Did you not see that Ruth went to Boaz and asked him to redeem her? (Which is basically asking him to marry her). Read Ruth 3:9. And I beg you, please look at Boaz’ response. He accepted and said he’d take control of the situation. He continued to be a leader. Ruth asking him to “redeem” her did not emasculate him or take away his ability to lead. Below is a commentary on Ruth 3:9 by Matthew Henry:
“Ruth’s good assurance in the management of her affair. She observed her mother’s orders, went and laid herself down, not by his side, but overcross his bed’s feet, in her clothes, and kept awake, waiting for an opportunity to tell her errand. When he awaked in the night, and perceived there was somebody at his feet, and enquired who it was, she told him her name and then her errand (Ruth 3:9), that she came to put herself under his protection, as the person appointed by the divine law to be her protector: “Thou art he that has a right to redeem a family and an estate from perishing, and therefore let this ruin be under thy hand: and spread thy skirt over me–be pleased to espouse [marry] me and my cause”.
Did Ruth “wait” for Boaz? Evidently not.
Should women propose to men? If they want to and if their men are okay with it.
If you do not think women should propose, that’s fine. But refraining from trying to force your view down the throats of others telling them that it’s not God’s way. God did not determine cultural practices, we human beings did that. The Bible said the man is the head of the household. It never mentioned the process of engagement. Culture, all over this world, determines how people get engaged. But do not tell me that how your culture does it is the biblical way.
As I said, it is okay to state your opinions, as you have the right to express yourself. But don’t impose your opinions on the choices of others. They too have a right.
Read this article at the site Women in Scriptures: The Bible Says that Women Can Propose to their Husbands.
Written by: Klasik Krys
Photo credit: source here