Should Christians Live Together Before Marriage?
Though times have changed the truth of God’s Word remains true. God’s laws always stem from love and protection for His children. Young Christians facing the decision to cohabitate should reflect and deeply consider. Here are five lies culture tells us about moving-in before saying “I do.”
1. “Helps to discover if you both are a compatible fit.”
Marriage and long-term commitment is not a physical or even emotional decision that we make, it’s a spiritual decision. True love is a daily choice, not something that should be determined in the shifting nature of our soul realm. Two “become” one implies there’s a journey involved that takes commitment not convenience or comfort.
2. “It’s cool because the next step is marriage.”
This is not true. Statistics show that just over half of couples who decide to move-in together marry within five years. Within that time, 40% don’t make it. Not to mention the emotional instability this brings to those involved, because at anytime the relationship could dissolve. Marriage is a spiritual decision, not just a legal one. You make a promise first to God and then your mate and establish a covenantal relationship that will work to support a life-long friendship.
3. “You can save money and set yourself up better financially.”
In the short-term this seems like a rational decision, however research shows that most couples who give economical reasons for moving-in seldom reach their financial goals. The financial savings is nothing compared to the spiritual withdrawals we’re making. Dr. Joyce Brothers put it a different way in her cohabitation article, “short-term savings are less important than investing in a lifetime relationship.”
4. “As long as you’re both committed it’s no big deal.”
The problem here is that it’s willful, habitual sin in your life. We all sin, true…but when it’s repetitively un-confessed and un-repentant behavior it begins to deteriorate your relationship with God. As Christians, we need the presence and the wisdom of God in our life fully operating. Sin desensitizes us from correctly responding to the Holy Spirit which is so vitally needed to nourish our relationships.
5. “The Bible’s way of doing things is out of date, times have changed.”
God’s Word is infinite wisdom to help us throughout our finite lives. For many of us we’ll live about 7 to 10 decades at best. The Bible covers life instruction that spans all eternity, which makes it generationally relevant no matter what. Deep down inside our spirits know that God’s standards are true and it cannot be changed. We either obey what He says or live with the consequences.